We've moved!!!

Bismillah

Ok i'm suuuuuuuuppppppeeeeeeer excited to announce my new blog/ home/ castle, whtever you would call it :) !!

I know i've been missing in action for soo long, and part of that time was making this new blog, alhamdulillah, and part of it was studying and the last part was my baby being sick, but alhamdulillah we're getting better and i swear, there were so many times when i thought of something and said, "i need to blog about that" :D

I'm such a blogger! I can't really get it outta my system, even if I tried so...

*drum roll*

HERE it is! [in case it doesn't work again, it's ummhayaa.com]

Hope you love it as much as I do <3 and from now on, you can find me here...err.. i mean.. there :) !

Wasalaam

YeeeYaaa, Poking and Japan Crisis

Hayu recently learned to say her name.. she says 'yeeeyaa.' It's really cute.

This morning, after we woke up, we were playing on the bed, which has been our morning tradition recently, and she kept saying yeeyaa. I didn't understand what she was saying, but later remembered that last week we were trying to teach her to say her name and the closest we got was 'yeeya'.. as you can imagine, this was enough to please her eager parents and grandparents.

Hayaa's also learned something new, and not so great: poking! Unfortunately our early anatomy lessons were a major fail and brought about consequences. We were teaching hayaa where her nose was and she started to put her finger in her nose (i know.. eww right?), we tried teaching hayaa were her eyes are and she pokes her own eyes and mine (ouch!), and we were teaching her where her tummy is and she now lifts her shirt and plays with her belly button in front of strangers (*gasp). Yup, completely a fail.

So, while Hayaa was poking my eyes, after redirecting her somewhere else, I was thinking of how thankful I am that I have her. Alhamdulillah for my baby, my husband, my parents, our home, and our family... Alhamdulillah.

Yesterday when I was watching the news about the Japan crisis, it was so heartbreaking to see the suffering of so many people.. may Allah swt ease their pain, guide them and enable them to reconstruct their lives. Ameen. We build our homes, make our lives for many years and it takes just a moment for everything to fall apart. Alhamdulillah for Allah swt as our protector and guardian.. without Him, where would we be? I think of all the mothers who might have lost their children or children becoming orphaned and my heart aches :(

Ya Rabbanna, protect us, guide us and help us to be thankful for all the blessings you've given us. Everything we have is because of the bounties you have given, and without your guidance and protection we would for sure be lost.

Gems: Ar Raheem Al Ghafoor

I was reading the first part of a lecture series by Nouman Ali Khan, may Allah swt bless him for all the work he's done. It was on the literary gems of the Quran.

Today's Gem was on Surah Saba: ayah 2

Allah says:

يَعْلَمُ مَا يَلِجُ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَمَا يَخْرُجُ

مِنْهَا وَمَا يَنزِلُ مِنَ السَّمَاء وَمَا

يَعْرُجُ فِيهَا وَهُوَ الرَّحِيمُ الْغَفُورُ

"He knows all that goes into the earth and all that comes out of it, and all that descends from the skies and all that ascends into it; and only He is the Most Merciful, the Oft Forgiving. "

What stands out in this verse?

This is the only verse in which Allah's name 'Ar Raheem' comes before 'Al Ghafoor' .. so usually it's 'al Ghafoor ur Raheem' but in this verse it's 'Ar Raheem ul Ghafoor'

SubhanAllah, when we ponder upon the references, we will see the wisdom behind putting Rahmah first and Ghafoor last.

It says -

"He knows what goes into this earth..."

A seed goes into the Earth, but we will also go into it one day, and on that day, we will need the rahmah of Ar Raheem that day.

...'and all that comes out of it...'

A plant comes out of this earth, what will we not also be coming out of it on the day of Resurrection. On that day, we will need the maghfirah of Al Ghafoor.

"...and all that descends from the sky..."

Rain comes down from the sky and it is rahmah for us, and wahy also came down from the sky which is the biggest rahmah in our lives.

"...and all that ascends into it..."

For all the things that ascend to the sky, we need maghfirah for: our duas, our deeds, our souls. And then Allah ends with the subject of the lesson, which is that Allah is Ar Raheem al Ghafoor.

SubhanAllah.

Knight in Shining Armour

Yesterday night, I fell asleep early while putting Hayaa to sleep.. I woke up soon after to pray isha' and went on my lappy to "study" but i wasn't really studying.. i donno why, but i had an urge to look up a foundation I had heard about.. yes, these urges come quite often whilst 'studying'..i find all sorts of things during this time, go on fashion blogs, decor blogs, mommy blogs, watch random youtube videos about makeup tutorials and swoon over them. And unfortunately, that's what i ended up doing yesterday night. I know, i'm bad :(

And then suddenly, my chrome closed on me and my background changed to this:

Yes! I started freaking out! I woke up hubby and showed him the message, but he was so sleepy, he didn't understand what i was saying... then i told him that i wouldn't be able to study tmr. (it was a ligit concern, i wasn't faking), and he woke up and had a look at it. It was 1.30 am when we went to bed after fixing it (and he had to leave for work the next day after fajr) and i'm soo happy that everything is back in order now, alhamdulillah! I don't know how i got it, but i think i should stop going on random sites anymore. I learnt my lesson.

...And that's when i realized, my hubby is my knight in shining armour

Can you think of times your hubby came to your rescue? :)

Vaccines and the deal...

I'm supposed to be going through my Small Pox case study right now, in preparing for my International Health exam.. but I thought, this is as good a time as any to just go through a few of my thoughts regarding Vaccines.

I know many people don't think that vaccines are not for their child, and I guess I can respect that, but just make sure you do read and research into it.

This goes over general info that parents should know about vaccines, though it is quite vague and doesn't go into the topic too much.

I think there are two things that bother parents most:

1) the whole deal with autism being connected to the MMR Vaccine

We were discussing this in class and my prof was saying how tired she is of this topic... because that myth was debunked ages ago.. Apparently there were many things regarding the legitimacy of the research and the authors that wrote it. In fact, all of the authors that were part of that research took their word back and agreed that it was a mistake except one. It was later found out that the one author that didn't was getting paid to write the article by a pharmaceutical company. Also, when repeated again, the research failed to provide the same results and many researchers pointed out that the reason they got those results in the first place was that they got their results at the same time as when the signs of autism are apparent (which is when a child is around 13 - 15 months). Anyway, the whole argument of the article was about thermisole anyway (a mercury based compound) and they have already taken that out of the vaccines they give now.

Which brings us to 2) The worry that Thermisole will affect the brain.. Thermisole is not mercury, it's mercury based and they didn't find anything that proved that it was harmful.. but because of the fear, and the dupe research paper on autism, they have taken it out of the vaccines all together like many years ago.

3) Many parents argue that vaccines may cause side affects that we don't know about yet, like some of the stuff on the swine flu vaccine that came out

I think you can't compare the Measles, Polio, Mumps etc. vaccines to the flu and swine flu vaccines.. why? because every year, there is a new flu vaccine made because of the different strains of flu, and the swine flu vaccine was also newly made. The amount of research done on the big vaccines given to kids (ie. polio, measles, pertusis, tetunus, diptheria and TB) does not even compare to the research done on the flu vaccines. Also, if your kids have the flu, they'll get over it within a couple of days, it's not a big deal.. if your kids have polio, they'll be disabled for life or even paralyzed! na authobillah.. may Allah swt protect our little ones. ameen. So, go ahead, don't give them the flu vaccine and rely on natural immunity, but taking a chance on the other sever diseases is not the smartest in my opinion.

I think people fail to realize how serious these diseases are, and they also fail to see that they are communicable, which means they can spread in the community like wild fire and their effects are not just a sneeze, cough or fever, it's paralysis, extreme extreme rashes and scars all over the body and intense sickness you can't even imagine.. why can't we imagine it? because alhamdulillah because of those same vaccines, we live in a society that is almost free of these diseases.

Don't get me wrong, my own marmee is against vaccines.. and yes, though I have tremendous respect for her and her opinions, I do disagree with this one.

*EDIT* ...I put pictures up, but they were kinda gruesome, so i took them off.. i think you should google some of these diseases that our kids are vaccinated for and see the severity of them..

on another note, my MIL actually told me that her first son (he passed away) had Polio - he contracted it because at the time she did not know about vaccinations. Well, after he passed away, the doctor told her that if he had been alive, he would have been disabled for life. Needless to say, all her sons and the kids in their family are now vaccinated.

I don't know, i guess in the end it's up to the parents to decide.. like i came across a document on some site called 'natural news' which said that vaccines may cause a number of other side affects and doctors just want you to get vaccinated because they want to charge you extra for the side effects.. honestly, to me this sounds like the many conspiracy theories that are already out there (my notes tell me that the global cost of one of these vaccinations to the governments was 2.3 billion dollars.. so it doesn't make sense that vaccines that are so expensive would be a means to get our $$).

... And, you know, I would believe these documents too if I wasn't studying some of these diseases, reading articles about the epidemics they've caused and watching documentaries about how vaccines have helped countries like Africa and India from viruses like Small Pox (in which 1/3 of the cases die, if they live, they have severe lesions for the rest of their life and most end up blind) etc. etc.

So there, that's my $0.01 on the issue. It's all for you to decide and discuss this issue with your family doctor.. don't just accept claims from both sides, especially not from websites that sell t-shirts on the side or have google ads on them :p

I'm back!

Assalaamualaikum blog world,

I missed you. I'm back. I'm sorry i went MIA on you! The past two months of so have been a whirlwind.. so much to do, see, new developments. SubhanAllah.

Updates:

- Hayaa is 13 months and 3 weeks!! Masha'Allah tabarkAllah.

- She walks and runs

- new words: mamma, baba, papa *sigh* it makes my day when she looks at me and says mamma

- she is now more comfy sleeping on her bed, but still ends up in ours in the middle of the night

- she's getting her big teeth!

How has these past couple of months changed me?

I've honestly been running around like a mad women :( School has kept me super busy and the biggest thing i regret is not being around Hayaa those 2 days, and some other times when i have to go upstairs and study. I really liked taking two courses and having time to play with Hayaa and being with her.. 3 of them are driving me a little on the edge sometimes, but alhamdulillah i'm almost done and AB and the rest of the family have been so supportive throughout..

i'm actually reaally looking forward to spring, when i can take Hayu to the park and play with her and just be able to spend more time with her. In the beginning, I wasn't comfortable with the thought of being a 'family'.. i was so happy being a 'couple' that when Hayaa arrived, having the title of not just a wife but also a mother, from a couple to a family and of having a baby with me everywhere i went took me by surprise. The realization that my life has changed forever.. wasn't sure at the time if it's for the best, but now i have no doubt in my mind that it was and is alhamdulillah. I think it's because i'm just more confident and happy about my role as a mother now. I'm not getting swayed by random comments about how i should be and how she should be.. I'm letting me just be me and her just be her.

I'm really enjoying every moment with my baby now, and although time alone is nice, when Hayaa's not around, i do feel a little uneasy, as if a big part of me missing. Especially because, alhamdulillah she's such a big girl now, and no longer cries when i take her out as she used to in her colic days. That's not to say we don't have our downs.. this morning, my jaanu's diaper leaked yet again, she threw up once, and she does continue to hit me still in her sleep.. lol but it's not so annoying anymore. I realized that if i don't enjoy the little things in my life, it'll pass me by.. she'll grow up and be independent.. and i'll miss this time! so why not enjoy it now right?

Ok enough rambling.. I still have an exam in two days.. i just needed to write some things down before getting down to studying :)

Baby extras I couldn't live without

1-3 + months:

A baby/ activity mat! The most basic and functional item every baby must have, and easy on your pocket too :) We got ours as a gift, and Hayaa loved it. The first few months, she would just play with it, lying on her back.. then she started to pull the objects with her hand, and then i removed the rods and the little toys, and would use it for her tummy time. When she began to sit up, i would use it as her toy mat. She loved it, and i loved it because it was so useful! :)

3-6 + months

The swing

This is pretty pricey, but hayaa needed it and it was worth getting it. The only thing I regret is not getting it sooner. Why did we need it? It was the only thing Hayaa would fall asleep in if i wasn't around.. so for my mother-in-law, it was really useful to put Hayaa to bed on days when my hubby and I would go out, or even if i had to run an errand and hayaa was tired. It really helped when I started school too (when hayaa was 8 months) and even today (11 + months masha'Allah, she still uses it).

6-8 + months

Space saver high chair

Our swing is fisher price 4-in-1 that converts into a highchair, but while we're so addicted to using the swing, we can't convert it into a highchair. Regardless, a huge high chair doesn't even fit into our space. This was such a better option. We got ours from walmart for about $40, and it wasn't on sale at that time. If you're a fan of the bigger one and have space for it, for the thrifter, the ikea one is nice and if you're willing to pay the extra $, there are some really nice high chairs available (i liked boon flairs highchair).

So back to my need for a space saver, I was getting so tired of having hayaa either in my lap or near my feet everytime hubby and i sat for dinner, we needed this.. as an added bonus, I would leave hayaa in it when i'd cook and she'd sit on it for the while, play with her toys and eat her snacks.

Activity center

After getting Hayaa a swing, i didn't want to buy a new activity center for her, especially because I wasn't sure how much she'd use it. She didn't really use her bouncer much and that was a disappointment, so I wanted to play it safe and get her a used one. Alhamdulillah we found a nice one from a family friend, and to my surprise, Hayaa did play with it a lot. She didn't like it early on (4-6 months) but at 8 months, she spent much of her time in it. Now she occasionally uses it. We have to force her to go in, but once she's inside, she plays for quite sometime.

Because this is sitting in my living room, and she does play iwth it quite a bit, I did regret not buying her a new one. I think if i could do it again, I would do the opposite and get her a used swing and new activity center.. because it's used so much, for playing, eating, jumping etc. and it sits in our living room.. so yeah.. but for Hayuu, since she's gonna grow out of it soon, ours will do :)

Flexibility and Tests

Before I was married, I remember my mom speaking to me about 'our' nature, as women.. she said, "Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala made women flexible. What ever situation we're in, we can adjust to it and need to adjust to it. in your life, as a wife (a mother, etc.), you'll find yourself in many different circumstances, but you will adjust to it.. because we are made that way, to be flexible."

I still remember her advice/ words of wisdom sometimes.. and actually, Allah swt made us all flexible. No matter where we live, how we are, we'll find it difficult in the beginning, but we get used to it and adjust to it.. and Allah would not place us in that situation if we couldnt' get through it. Look at the example of people living in nunavut for example, i could never imagine living in such harsh weather conditions and not being able to see the sun for some of hte days, but people do live there after all.. and they don't even think of it.

Today i was reading this story.. the narrator said he was visiting a man that had his foot amputated and he wanted to comfort him by saying "the ummah doesn't expect you to be a fast runner... rather it expects you to offer wise opinions and enlightened thoughts, and you still have that, alhamdulillah"

He went to the man, and the man said to him "Alhamdulillah, this foot of mine stayed iwth me for decades and it was a good companion. But my religious commitment is what comforts me."

SubhanAllah.. i was thinking, these words have so much thankfulness in them.. like the guy is being thankful for having a foot before the amputation, and them accepting that although it was a great blessing, Allah has given him with something better that did not leave him... and realizing that it could have been worse.. he could have lost his religion.. and hte prophet sallalahu alayhi wasallam said (paraphrase) that the worst test for us is when Allah swt tests us in our deen (religion).

Alhamdulillah, Allah has made us very strong and flexible.. no matter what tests we go through, we have a way of making the situation work to our benefit. All we have to do is be realize of Allah's mercy and blessings on us, and we're set :) kinda crazy if you think about it, subhanAllah.. so like if you have like zero time for yourself and are getting no sleep (story of every mom's life).. realize:

1) Allah swt had given you so much time before for yourself and a peaceful night's sleep.. that was a blessing from Him, and be thankful for the blessings He had given you for so long

2) know that you'll get through it and honestly, it wouldn't even bother you soon.. you'll find a way around it.. find a way to be happier then you were before. accept there's a challenge, accept you had it better before and be thankful that it's not worse and move on. you can get through it, because you're a flexible mama ;) alhamdulilah for that.

be gone tired eyes!

I've had some crazy sleepless nights in the past 10 months (masha'Allah 10 months! *sigh*), as do all mothers some time or another.. and received many kind comments about how tired i look [*insert sarcastic tone]. So i decided to do something about it.. umm.. well not really.. here's what actually happened:

So, while wondering along one day in the Eaton's center, I noticed a couple of girls walking by me with black and white bags from a store called 'Saphora' .. and I thought, hmm where have i seen this name before? oh yes, dearest mamma bought a few things from there some time ago, so i decided to check it out (i had some extra time on my hands that day). I looked inside and gave a gasp.. it was makeup wonderland!

:) so i decided, i'm going to buy just one thing from this store, and that happened to be this stick:

[Dior Skin Flash - it was a little pricey at $45 but i'm sure you can find other brighteners for cheaper that'll do the trick]

...but little did i know, this was not an ordinary stick.. no no, it held magic powers (umm.. halal magic powers that have nothing to do with jinns).. yes so, i took this stick home and played around with it. I got the darkest shade, and it turned out to be quite close to my skin colour.

So.. i tried some sparingly under my eye, gently rubbed it into my skin and lo and behold, my under eye circles disappeared :)

Hubby came home that day, and said "wow you look fresh! did you exercise today?" :D ..and it was a keeper!

caution: this is not a concealer, it's a skin brighter.. don't use it on your acne, it wouldn't cover it. i did and lets just say it wasn't pretty.

so there you have it girls, for days that are after sleepless nights, and especially those days when you need to look presentable, this will help :)

I'm no expert on this, but i believe for darker skin tones, bobby brown has a good concealer stick.

**EDIT** two months later:

After giving it a little more research, I found that there are better alternatives to this, and much cheaper ones. I think the Urban Decay Surreal Skin Creamy Concealer ($16) OR Benefits eye bright ($20) do the job without forking the $50 down... You can't forgo quality for price, but for trail and error makeup products, sometimes it's better to play it safe and buy for a price which you're not gonna regret later :)

Who's afraid of the Big Bad Vacuum?

For the last couple of months of so (i think it started at 7 months?), hayaa's been scared of a number of different things.. sometimes she gets nervous if i put a load of laundry in the washer, or when the diswasher starts.. and then there was that time she was scared of bath tubs.. but those things came and went, and her fear of the vacuum still remained :p

We've tried a few things to ease her fears though.. for example, when she was scared of the bathtub, it was quite a problem.. i couldn't give her a bath without her screaming and standing up while in her tub, making it dangerous for her, because she could slip.. so our solution? i would put her bath in our bigger bathtub, fill it with water, sit beside it, put her in and give her toys to play with. It took her some time to adjust, but she did alhamdulillah... and there are still some days when the fear creeps up again.

With the vacuum, we've tried a number of different things. The first thing we do is to bring her close to it when it's off, and let her play with it, punch it, touch it etc. Then when I we start it, I usually go to her, hug her close and give her kisses while she's watching hubby do the vacuuming. One time, we were preparing for a party and she was getting scared while he was vacuuming and i was in the kitchen preparing food.. so he put the sling, put her in it and finished up the job.

How do I know she's scared?

She doesn't cry when we start the vacuum, but she gets very hyper all of a sudden and starts behaving wierd. She moves her arms around like a little bird trying to fly (:D) and babbles in her baby language..and shrieks excitedly.. initially we didn't think she was scared, we thought she was just really excited.. hah.. and then once she was sitting and playing with her toys and it started, and she started to shake (my poor baby).. and since then, i run to hold her whenever we start the vacuum, so finds comfort in my arms, even though her attention is totally towards it.

As children grow, they become scared of different things quite suddenly.. sometimes that thing is something they might be doing everyday, but suddenly they'll be scared of it one day (ie. taking a bath), and sometimes they remain scared of it (ie. vacuum), but it's important to understand that it's totally normal, and comfort them in the best way we can :) we are mothers, after all :)

Separation Anxiety Cuteness

.. cuteness and separation anxiety in the same sentence, you ask?

Yes my friends, all supposed 'bad things' do have a silver lining ;)

So with my in laws gone for a week (they'll be returning in 3 days insha'Allah), Hayaa's began to cling on to me even more then before.

The bad : sometimes she's screaming and in tears if i go to the washroom for 5 minutes

The good: when baba comes home from work! It's the cutest thing! she's soo excited to see him and chachu. i love it! As soon as the enter, she freezes for a second and then starts bouncing in excitement. Those are the best moments.. to see Hayaa after a parting. Even when i would return from school, the thing I'll be most looking forward for would be to see Hayaa's face when I'd enter the house.

I soo need to make a video of that, so i remember it afterwards. Time goes by so quick.. there are times when I want to keep hayaa the way she is, but then i'm excited to take her places when she walks, excited to hear her when she speaks, and read her books when she understands.

Tomorrow holds so many beautiful hopes and some little fears (fear that she's not gonna listen to me :( )

.. May Allah swt continue to bless our family, and may He swt guide Hayaa and make her a strong and righteous believer.. and may He swt bless all of Hayaa's little friends and their families. ameen.

thankfulness and co-sleeping

Alhamdulillah! Thank you Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for everything you've showered on me.

I was speaking to a friend today and she said something interesting.. she said it's funny, many times Allah swt puts us in situations that we've made up our minds to avoid or try our hardest to not be in.. sometimes even make dua that it would not fall in our lot, and yet we are placed in that exact situation which we had hated.

I remember when I was pregnant, I used to make dua that I would not have a baby with colic, but Hayaa did have colic.. and alhamdulillah for everything.. because there's goodness in everything. I also wanted to have another room for her (before she was born), at least have her sleep in the crib.. but Hayaa masha'Allah loves to be close to her mommy and baba and sleep with them... I was always big on quality time with husband, and subhanAllah, whenever we'd have time alone, she'd wake up from her sleep or be fussy about something... and alhamdulillah there is goodness in that too.

What i'm trying to say is.. Allahu'alam.. sometimes we think that we are 'this type of person' or want something very bad and even may obsess over it, but Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala challenges our belief and shows us that it's really not a big deal. Yes, you can sleep with the baby at night... it's not a big deal. Yes, you can have a baby with colic.. it's ok... you'll get through it.. and that's life :)

Today, we joined Hayaa's crib with our bed (have one side open, so i'm still sleeping beside her). I was fighting this in my mind for so long.. i wanted her to be able to sleep in her crib.. wanted to have space for hubby and i.. wanted a baby free space where i can be a grownup again..read my book in peace, sip some chai and chill while she sleeps in her little crib on the opposite side of the room.. but after joining the crib now, and accepting her the way she is, it feels better actually. I realize, i was totally making this a big deal in my mind when it's really not.

.. and i think this works for other things in our life too.. obstacles we place in our mind, when it's nothing but in our head.. and shaytans whisperings. Next time I get ahead of myself being unthankful for what Allah has given me... wishing that things were a certain way and not the way they are, i need to just step back and realize, it's not a big deal.. and allahu'alam, this is the best place for me.. and the best planning.

No, life is not perfect.. but it would be a shallow person indeed if he only concentrated on the little specs of dirt at the top of the ocean and not look at the splendidness of the rest and of it's beauty.. and realize that this is all from his Most kind and powerful Creator, walhamdulillah. and so this is life; with little specs here and there; obstacles placed around us, but as a whole, Allah has been showering us constantly with riches and blessings.. when we complain, out loud or in our mind, we have forgotten the blessings He's given us.

teething = separation anxiety?

Hayaa's been teething on and off since she was 6 months old, going on 7 (now she's almost 10 months masha'Allah). It's resulted in many many sleepless nights, and drool filled shirts. We've all sort of noticed a pattern with what tends to happen when a new tooth is about to come..

1) the drooling gets really bad.. it remains throughout but it gets really bad initially. Her clothes get sooked at the top and i have to continuously change them. One day I was going through her drawers and found some undershirts.. so i started to put those on her so it would be less clothes changing for me.

2) the runny nose.. so the combination of drool and runny nose is just gross.. especially when it goes in their mouth. yuk. But, yeah like i said, while the drooling continues, the runny nose occurs for 2 weeks or so.. and then it stops alhamdulillah. I always have to remind my MIL that it's not because of a cold that she's getting it, she'll be sprouting another one soon.

3) the sleepless/ disturbed night: alhamdulillah the real sleeplessness only happens at max 2 days in a row.. but you'll find the disturbed sleep will happen quite often :( Hubby and I always joke that Hayaa is dr. jakyll during the day and mr. hyde at night ;)

4) serious 'chipku-ness' as my husband calls it.. the separation anxiety

5) the tooth, finally!

so yesterday was one of those days.. i had school but my father in law told me after i returned that she was missing me a lot

Hubby offered to put Hayaa to sleep, but she started screaming when he turned off the light.. then my MIL tried (Hayaa's better with her then anyone else - me), but she would still not sleep.. she drank her whole bottle but refused to go to sleep. Then I took her from them and rocked her to sleep, and she slept.. almost within 10 minutes. she was soo tired.. but she did not want me to leave her. Whenever i would move my hand from under her head, she would cry (while her eyes were closed), hug me and go back to sleep. I did give her some teething meds before she went to sleep, so i wasn't sure what it was all about.. but khair.. after like +- half hour of sleeping in my arms, she went to sleep properly without me.

annywhoo.. on another note..umm.. i have to admit that i havne't been good with my diet :( it's tooo hard.. and there are too many temptations. i will try again.. but i'm so bad at it *ashamed*

ok.. gotta go and work on some school work.. which is what i was supposed to do in the first place, but i started blogging :p

Diet and Exercize anyone?

Alhamdulillah it's been nine months, and a half since I had Hayaa.. and alhamduillah after ramadan, I knew that it was the best time to start exercizing. I had been doing casual workouts, like 10 minute treadmill etc, since my 6th month, but I really wanted to get into it now and get results.

It's been like 2 months i think and I've lost at least 6-7 pounds alhamdulillah. I know I should be losing more, because the workout i'm doing is quite intense.. and I know the reason i'm not losing so much is because of my diet.

Living with my in laws, it's quite hard to watch what I eat.. and during pregnancy and after my delivery, I was not only was encouraged to eat more of the desi greasy foods but also indulged in much chocolate and cake eating.

During Ramadan I lost a bit of weight not even exersizing, but just not eating so much food and now, although i'm not seeing a wieght gain, i'm not losing so much as I want to.. so i think it's time I put away my chocolate bars, large portion sizes, gulab jamuns and rasmalai's and get into actively watching what i eat.

Insha'Allah I want my weight to go down ten pounds in a month.. and I know i can do it, with more water in take, smaller portions and exercize.

For anyone wondering what exercize i'm doing, it's the 30 day shred by Jullian Micheals. It's good! All you need is the workout video, exercize mat and 1 pound weights.. It's made a world of a difference in not only my energy level, alhamdulillah, but also, I feel awesome! it's not an easy workout but you feel great afterwards. It's supposed to be for 30 days continously but I couldn't do it every day. I workout 3 days a week and it totally drains me out, in a good way :p

There are 3 levels, and if you workout every day, you should be moving on to a new level every 10 days. I've been working out two month and now i'm on level two, because I want my body to slowly adapt to it. Like i said, I've been in horrible shape since.. well.. since I got married 2 1/2 years ago! But it really does feel great to do somehting about it. Slowly but surely insha'Allah! :)

Sujuud and Preggy belly

After my seventh month, it was difficult for me to make sujuud while praying. I use to just go down as much as I can, and not go into the sijdah position, and then get up. My mother-in-law saw me pray this way once and suggested that I use a pillow to help me, and I thought it was a better suggestion, and I did that throughout the rest of my pregnancy. Well, today I came across a hadith that suggests that what I was doing was correct, and what my MIL suggested shouldn't have been done..though at the time, I thought it was logical enough.

Bulugh Al Maram, Hadith 352:

On Jabir (R), the prophet (S) visited someone who was sick, and he (S) saw this person picking up this pillow and bringing it to his head to make sajdah. The prophet (S) threw it aside and said, "pray upon the earth if you can. And if you cannot, then make an indication with your body, and make an indication of your sajdah lower than the indication of your rukoo."

SubhanAllah, it's amazing how we keep learning new things in our deen. It's so cool. May Allah swt continue to increase us in our knowledge, understanding and application for His sake alone. Ameen.

Self Esteem vs. Arrogance

During pregnancy and motherhood, our lives shift so much, sometimes we forget ourselves in the process, if only for a little while.

After becoming pregnant, for the first time I felt uncomfortable with myself.. and the remnants remain, if not increase, once the baby is in the picture and people question your role as a mother.

This is a beautiful article/ reminder on the relationship between low self esteem and arrogance, and the importance of having confidence in yourself.

SELF – ESTEEM VERSUS ARROGANCE

By Mamoon Yusaf - http://www.quranforbusypeople.com/

“God does not love the arrogant and boasting ones” [Quran 31:18]

In western psychology ‘self-esteem’ refers

to the esteem you give to yourself. It is a measure of how much you like and value yourself. In other words, it is a measure of the extent to which you live by your own personal values. When you do not act in accordance to your values, you like yourself less, and your self-esteem goes down. When you ‘beat yourself up’ for not acting in accordance to your values, rather than learning from your mistakes and moving on (the Islamic approach to forgiveness), your self – esteem goes down even further and you continue to violate your values and sin.

Low self esteem results in not living according to your values, usually as a result of what you think other people will think of you. For example, not giving your honest opinion when it’s required, because you’re afraid of what others may think. Not having the courage to make a sales call due to fear of rejection rooted in valuing their opinion of you over your opinion of yourself. Wearing, or not wearing hijab, not because of what feels right inside, but because of what other people will think of you.

The truth is nobody knows you better than you do – not even your loved ones. Nobody cares about you more than you do, either. If you die, they’ll morn your loss, but you’ll live eternally with the consequences of your actions.

The hypnosis of Muslim culture encourages us to think that having a high opinion of yourself is a ‘bad thing’ because it could lead to arrogance. Nothing could be further from the truth. Having a low opinion of yourself leads to arrogance.

If your opinion of yourself is lower, your inner confidence is diminished and you always need to prove a point to others (and yourself) by unconsciously competing. This leads to you ‘looking down on people and denying people their rights’ – the Prophet’s definition of arrogance (pbuh).

If you have a high opinion of yourself in areas where you are good, and a low opinion in areas where you struggle, you are closer to the truth of your situation. This honesty and self-acceptance is the starting point of personal growth.

The problem in your personal development comes when you use patterns of language that put yourself down, and then actually convince yourself that this is a good thing because you are ‘being humble’. These negative language patterns like “I’m such a loser; I’m so lazy” etc, are not humility they are self-humiliation. They are lies, which become limiting beliefs, which ultimately prevent your success. And they are forbidden. This is why the Prophet (pbuh) said “A believer never humiliates himself”.

Muslim spiritual writings on arrogance as a root disease of the heart, always balance not being boastful and arrogant with not looking down on yourself either. We tend to overlook the second part. In reality, if you look down on yourself (have low self esteem), you lose your personal dignity (‘izza) which may result in you lashing out in a boastful manner when you get the chance.

To make matters worse, if your self esteem is low the chances are you could even be indulging in a sly form of shirk – valuing others opinions of you affects your behaviour drastically. The only real opinion we should care about is Allah’s opinion. If you let others dictate what you think about yourself, and therefore what you do, this may be a form of ‘riyah’.

This dua will help: Allahuma inna na’uthu bika min an nushrika bika shayan na’alamu wa nastaghfiruka li ma la na’alamu.

Allah, we seek refuge in you from associating partners with you knowingly, and seek your forgiveness from what we don’t know (doing it unknowingly).

The best of examples, our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said quite frankly “I am the best among you, and this is not arrogance’. It’s not arrogance because it’s a fact. He told us, because it’s important for us to know his status, and we can learn from his statement that when you have deep inner confidence and self esteem like He did, there is no arrogance.

What I would do the second time around...

When Hayaa was young, I couldn't imagine having another baby. Now, sometimes when I see her play, I feel like it it would be nice for her to have another sibling to play with.. maybe not now, but soon in the future insha'Allah. My pregnancy definitely wasn't the best experiance.. it wasn't all the health. I know that if I had wanted to, it could have been much better.

If i was pregnant again, I would...

Not be living in a house with my brother in law, and if possible, living close to my in laws but not with them:

wearing shalwar kameez in the summer while pregnant sucks, wearing abaya in the house, while pregnant and cooking sucks even more. If i can help it, with my husbands happiness and his family's, i'd opt for living not with my in laws. No doubt, there are loads and loads of blessings living with your inlaws, but during pregnancy, it tends to get tough. However, if there's nothing i can do about that, then I know Allah swt only put me in that situation because it's best for me... but at least, i don't want to be livign with another non mahrem and wearing abaya all the time, the next time around insha'Allah.

Investing in a few nice maternity clothes:

During my pregnancy, one of hte biggest issues I had was clothes! My shalwar kameezs were getting too tight and I had to wear my mother-in-laws clothes because i thought, why should i waste money and keep getting a new wardrobe. Sometimes, it's good to save, but sometimes for your own sake, it's better to get some clothes that will work all throughout. It would have been relatively easy working iwth my wardrobe had I worn just sweats and tops, but wearing paki clothes is soo uncomfortable.

Now, there are loads of styles in paki clothes that would look nice on pregnant women. If only I knew then! During the weekdays I would get off the hook by wearing my humongo abaya in the kitchen (bro in law issue), but by weekends, there would be family parties to attend, and every weekend I would feel uncomfortable about the way I looked. Insha'Allah I'll do some homework next time and get some proper clothes made.

Maternity friendly shalwar khameez options: (colours are gross, styles are cute)

Go out of doors more often: being home all day is not cool.. and I don't know why, after getting married, I just stayed home ALL day! never again insha'Allah.

NOT eat for two: anyone who told you that you had to eat for two while pregnant... was probably an auntie ;)

Get one or two maternity abayas: for some reason, abaya's are quite pricey at stores. I'd get them stitched instead if i can't find resonable ones at the stores.

Go swimming/ Join some sort of Swimming classes: swimming while pregnant is the safest and best exercize.. and it feels great :)

Do prenatal yoga: It helps keep the body lean, and gets your body in shape for the big day

Get a doula: I'm not sure if doula's help around the house and how much they help exactly, but if I was livign on my own with Hayaa, i'd definitely be open to any helping hand.

Cook and freeze the food: because cooking in the first few weeks of baby being home is quite tough.

Go for a walk every day, or at least every other day

Restrain some of my loaded sugar or oily cravings some of the time

finally, I would..

Be less mean to husband.

Hayaa..

A week and a half and you'll be 9 months insha'Allah.

Yesterday I was thinking about how active you are masha'Allah. You always did like to move around and I remembered how active you were even in my tummy. I still remember your kicks. As you grew bigger, your kicks became stronger, so much so that sometimes I use to wonder if the time had come for you to come out and finally meet your mommy and daddy.. :) but many times, they were false alarms. You were just having a little party inside.

I had my ultrasound three times, when nurses wanted to check your health.. especially because we were concerned about one of your kidneys being bigger then the other, and each time they would check you, you would be moving continuously. All three nurses you checked me each time commented on how much you move.

How you scared us when we found out about your kidney! How you scared your nanny! She stayed up the whole night making dua for your health. Alhamdulillah, by the time you came into this world, you were perfectly healthy. I still remember that day, coming in for a checkup when the midwife told me the implications of a bigger kidney: "the worst of it?" she said "she may be autistic.. but.. there is a chance that it may just be an infection." SubhanAllah. Walhamdulillah. It was neither. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala always keep you healthy, happy and on his path.

When you were a week late, I was so uncomfortable. It was Adeel chachu's wedding, I didn't have any clothes that fit. All your daddy's relatives came from pakistan and elsewhere. Your mommy felt so uncomfortable attending all the little parties, along side your other pretty chachi's and chachi's to be :) but alhamdulillah, your daddy kept reminding me that our gift will be coming soon.. and soon it'll all be worth it.

With many reminders from your daddy and your nanni, alhamdulillah the last days before you met me went smoothly :) Your nanni was there making me stronger, helping me to

Bye bye Maple Pecan Danish :(

OMG did you know a maple pecan danish from Tims has 410 calories?

I didn't either.

http://www.timhortons.com/ca/en/menu/nutrition-calculator.html

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btw, i didn't end up using goat milk after all. Hayaa's doc said it's natural for her to get constipated at first. Her body will get used to it, but it's better to continue with Isomil then to goat milk. Maybe when she's older.

Goat milk vs. Soy milk

Hayaa has been very constipated lately. I think it has to do something with her drinking the soy supplement :( I got her Isomil because everything else was just not suiting her. She seemed to like it.. but for the past two days, she's been very constipated. Poor thing. I gave her some prunes today, and it seemed to do the trick, alhamdulillah.

Looking for another alternative for the past hour and a half, I came across this website speaking of Goat milk and the recipe for feeding infants and toddlers. I know some websites say that you shouldn't feed your baby goat milk, because it has a higher level of protien then cows milk and when you dilute it, it loses it's nutrients, but Dr. Sears seems to know what he's talking about :)

Also, nothing else is working for Hayaa except Silk soy milk and I think this recipe for Goat milk is certainly much better then that!

I was a little concerned about giving her soy milk anyway. There was a new study done that it causes early puberty in some people.. so I wasn't too comfortable with giving it to her, but I did.. with caution. During the day, I try to give her at least 3 meals during the day, and give her little snacks in between. I nurse her in the morning and at night before putting her to sleep. She just needs a little milk sometimes before she naps during the day, so i thought soy milk would be ok for that.. but now, because it's causing her constipation, i think goat milk will be a better option.

I don't think it's wise for me to stop nursing her completely just yet. It is still the best milk option for her right now, and insha'Allah I can nurse her less and less as she's coming closer to turning 1.

Today I'm gonna go and get some goat milk. I'll update on how it turns out :)