Baby extras I couldn't live without

1-3 + months:

A baby/ activity mat! The most basic and functional item every baby must have, and easy on your pocket too :) We got ours as a gift, and Hayaa loved it. The first few months, she would just play with it, lying on her back.. then she started to pull the objects with her hand, and then i removed the rods and the little toys, and would use it for her tummy time. When she began to sit up, i would use it as her toy mat. She loved it, and i loved it because it was so useful! :)

3-6 + months

The swing

This is pretty pricey, but hayaa needed it and it was worth getting it. The only thing I regret is not getting it sooner. Why did we need it? It was the only thing Hayaa would fall asleep in if i wasn't around.. so for my mother-in-law, it was really useful to put Hayaa to bed on days when my hubby and I would go out, or even if i had to run an errand and hayaa was tired. It really helped when I started school too (when hayaa was 8 months) and even today (11 + months masha'Allah, she still uses it).

6-8 + months

Space saver high chair

Our swing is fisher price 4-in-1 that converts into a highchair, but while we're so addicted to using the swing, we can't convert it into a highchair. Regardless, a huge high chair doesn't even fit into our space. This was such a better option. We got ours from walmart for about $40, and it wasn't on sale at that time. If you're a fan of the bigger one and have space for it, for the thrifter, the ikea one is nice and if you're willing to pay the extra $, there are some really nice high chairs available (i liked boon flairs highchair).

So back to my need for a space saver, I was getting so tired of having hayaa either in my lap or near my feet everytime hubby and i sat for dinner, we needed this.. as an added bonus, I would leave hayaa in it when i'd cook and she'd sit on it for the while, play with her toys and eat her snacks.

Activity center

After getting Hayaa a swing, i didn't want to buy a new activity center for her, especially because I wasn't sure how much she'd use it. She didn't really use her bouncer much and that was a disappointment, so I wanted to play it safe and get her a used one. Alhamdulillah we found a nice one from a family friend, and to my surprise, Hayaa did play with it a lot. She didn't like it early on (4-6 months) but at 8 months, she spent much of her time in it. Now she occasionally uses it. We have to force her to go in, but once she's inside, she plays for quite sometime.

Because this is sitting in my living room, and she does play iwth it quite a bit, I did regret not buying her a new one. I think if i could do it again, I would do the opposite and get her a used swing and new activity center.. because it's used so much, for playing, eating, jumping etc. and it sits in our living room.. so yeah.. but for Hayuu, since she's gonna grow out of it soon, ours will do :)

Flexibility and Tests

Before I was married, I remember my mom speaking to me about 'our' nature, as women.. she said, "Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala made women flexible. What ever situation we're in, we can adjust to it and need to adjust to it. in your life, as a wife (a mother, etc.), you'll find yourself in many different circumstances, but you will adjust to it.. because we are made that way, to be flexible."

I still remember her advice/ words of wisdom sometimes.. and actually, Allah swt made us all flexible. No matter where we live, how we are, we'll find it difficult in the beginning, but we get used to it and adjust to it.. and Allah would not place us in that situation if we couldnt' get through it. Look at the example of people living in nunavut for example, i could never imagine living in such harsh weather conditions and not being able to see the sun for some of hte days, but people do live there after all.. and they don't even think of it.

Today i was reading this story.. the narrator said he was visiting a man that had his foot amputated and he wanted to comfort him by saying "the ummah doesn't expect you to be a fast runner... rather it expects you to offer wise opinions and enlightened thoughts, and you still have that, alhamdulillah"

He went to the man, and the man said to him "Alhamdulillah, this foot of mine stayed iwth me for decades and it was a good companion. But my religious commitment is what comforts me."

SubhanAllah.. i was thinking, these words have so much thankfulness in them.. like the guy is being thankful for having a foot before the amputation, and them accepting that although it was a great blessing, Allah has given him with something better that did not leave him... and realizing that it could have been worse.. he could have lost his religion.. and hte prophet sallalahu alayhi wasallam said (paraphrase) that the worst test for us is when Allah swt tests us in our deen (religion).

Alhamdulillah, Allah has made us very strong and flexible.. no matter what tests we go through, we have a way of making the situation work to our benefit. All we have to do is be realize of Allah's mercy and blessings on us, and we're set :) kinda crazy if you think about it, subhanAllah.. so like if you have like zero time for yourself and are getting no sleep (story of every mom's life).. realize:

1) Allah swt had given you so much time before for yourself and a peaceful night's sleep.. that was a blessing from Him, and be thankful for the blessings He had given you for so long

2) know that you'll get through it and honestly, it wouldn't even bother you soon.. you'll find a way around it.. find a way to be happier then you were before. accept there's a challenge, accept you had it better before and be thankful that it's not worse and move on. you can get through it, because you're a flexible mama ;) alhamdulilah for that.

be gone tired eyes!

I've had some crazy sleepless nights in the past 10 months (masha'Allah 10 months! *sigh*), as do all mothers some time or another.. and received many kind comments about how tired i look [*insert sarcastic tone]. So i decided to do something about it.. umm.. well not really.. here's what actually happened:

So, while wondering along one day in the Eaton's center, I noticed a couple of girls walking by me with black and white bags from a store called 'Saphora' .. and I thought, hmm where have i seen this name before? oh yes, dearest mamma bought a few things from there some time ago, so i decided to check it out (i had some extra time on my hands that day). I looked inside and gave a gasp.. it was makeup wonderland!

:) so i decided, i'm going to buy just one thing from this store, and that happened to be this stick:

[Dior Skin Flash - it was a little pricey at $45 but i'm sure you can find other brighteners for cheaper that'll do the trick]

...but little did i know, this was not an ordinary stick.. no no, it held magic powers (umm.. halal magic powers that have nothing to do with jinns).. yes so, i took this stick home and played around with it. I got the darkest shade, and it turned out to be quite close to my skin colour.

So.. i tried some sparingly under my eye, gently rubbed it into my skin and lo and behold, my under eye circles disappeared :)

Hubby came home that day, and said "wow you look fresh! did you exercise today?" :D ..and it was a keeper!

caution: this is not a concealer, it's a skin brighter.. don't use it on your acne, it wouldn't cover it. i did and lets just say it wasn't pretty.

so there you have it girls, for days that are after sleepless nights, and especially those days when you need to look presentable, this will help :)

I'm no expert on this, but i believe for darker skin tones, bobby brown has a good concealer stick.

**EDIT** two months later:

After giving it a little more research, I found that there are better alternatives to this, and much cheaper ones. I think the Urban Decay Surreal Skin Creamy Concealer ($16) OR Benefits eye bright ($20) do the job without forking the $50 down... You can't forgo quality for price, but for trail and error makeup products, sometimes it's better to play it safe and buy for a price which you're not gonna regret later :)

Who's afraid of the Big Bad Vacuum?

For the last couple of months of so (i think it started at 7 months?), hayaa's been scared of a number of different things.. sometimes she gets nervous if i put a load of laundry in the washer, or when the diswasher starts.. and then there was that time she was scared of bath tubs.. but those things came and went, and her fear of the vacuum still remained :p

We've tried a few things to ease her fears though.. for example, when she was scared of the bathtub, it was quite a problem.. i couldn't give her a bath without her screaming and standing up while in her tub, making it dangerous for her, because she could slip.. so our solution? i would put her bath in our bigger bathtub, fill it with water, sit beside it, put her in and give her toys to play with. It took her some time to adjust, but she did alhamdulillah... and there are still some days when the fear creeps up again.

With the vacuum, we've tried a number of different things. The first thing we do is to bring her close to it when it's off, and let her play with it, punch it, touch it etc. Then when I we start it, I usually go to her, hug her close and give her kisses while she's watching hubby do the vacuuming. One time, we were preparing for a party and she was getting scared while he was vacuuming and i was in the kitchen preparing food.. so he put the sling, put her in it and finished up the job.

How do I know she's scared?

She doesn't cry when we start the vacuum, but she gets very hyper all of a sudden and starts behaving wierd. She moves her arms around like a little bird trying to fly (:D) and babbles in her baby language..and shrieks excitedly.. initially we didn't think she was scared, we thought she was just really excited.. hah.. and then once she was sitting and playing with her toys and it started, and she started to shake (my poor baby).. and since then, i run to hold her whenever we start the vacuum, so finds comfort in my arms, even though her attention is totally towards it.

As children grow, they become scared of different things quite suddenly.. sometimes that thing is something they might be doing everyday, but suddenly they'll be scared of it one day (ie. taking a bath), and sometimes they remain scared of it (ie. vacuum), but it's important to understand that it's totally normal, and comfort them in the best way we can :) we are mothers, after all :)

Separation Anxiety Cuteness

.. cuteness and separation anxiety in the same sentence, you ask?

Yes my friends, all supposed 'bad things' do have a silver lining ;)

So with my in laws gone for a week (they'll be returning in 3 days insha'Allah), Hayaa's began to cling on to me even more then before.

The bad : sometimes she's screaming and in tears if i go to the washroom for 5 minutes

The good: when baba comes home from work! It's the cutest thing! she's soo excited to see him and chachu. i love it! As soon as the enter, she freezes for a second and then starts bouncing in excitement. Those are the best moments.. to see Hayaa after a parting. Even when i would return from school, the thing I'll be most looking forward for would be to see Hayaa's face when I'd enter the house.

I soo need to make a video of that, so i remember it afterwards. Time goes by so quick.. there are times when I want to keep hayaa the way she is, but then i'm excited to take her places when she walks, excited to hear her when she speaks, and read her books when she understands.

Tomorrow holds so many beautiful hopes and some little fears (fear that she's not gonna listen to me :( )

.. May Allah swt continue to bless our family, and may He swt guide Hayaa and make her a strong and righteous believer.. and may He swt bless all of Hayaa's little friends and their families. ameen.

thankfulness and co-sleeping

Alhamdulillah! Thank you Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for everything you've showered on me.

I was speaking to a friend today and she said something interesting.. she said it's funny, many times Allah swt puts us in situations that we've made up our minds to avoid or try our hardest to not be in.. sometimes even make dua that it would not fall in our lot, and yet we are placed in that exact situation which we had hated.

I remember when I was pregnant, I used to make dua that I would not have a baby with colic, but Hayaa did have colic.. and alhamdulillah for everything.. because there's goodness in everything. I also wanted to have another room for her (before she was born), at least have her sleep in the crib.. but Hayaa masha'Allah loves to be close to her mommy and baba and sleep with them... I was always big on quality time with husband, and subhanAllah, whenever we'd have time alone, she'd wake up from her sleep or be fussy about something... and alhamdulillah there is goodness in that too.

What i'm trying to say is.. Allahu'alam.. sometimes we think that we are 'this type of person' or want something very bad and even may obsess over it, but Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala challenges our belief and shows us that it's really not a big deal. Yes, you can sleep with the baby at night... it's not a big deal. Yes, you can have a baby with colic.. it's ok... you'll get through it.. and that's life :)

Today, we joined Hayaa's crib with our bed (have one side open, so i'm still sleeping beside her). I was fighting this in my mind for so long.. i wanted her to be able to sleep in her crib.. wanted to have space for hubby and i.. wanted a baby free space where i can be a grownup again..read my book in peace, sip some chai and chill while she sleeps in her little crib on the opposite side of the room.. but after joining the crib now, and accepting her the way she is, it feels better actually. I realize, i was totally making this a big deal in my mind when it's really not.

.. and i think this works for other things in our life too.. obstacles we place in our mind, when it's nothing but in our head.. and shaytans whisperings. Next time I get ahead of myself being unthankful for what Allah has given me... wishing that things were a certain way and not the way they are, i need to just step back and realize, it's not a big deal.. and allahu'alam, this is the best place for me.. and the best planning.

No, life is not perfect.. but it would be a shallow person indeed if he only concentrated on the little specs of dirt at the top of the ocean and not look at the splendidness of the rest and of it's beauty.. and realize that this is all from his Most kind and powerful Creator, walhamdulillah. and so this is life; with little specs here and there; obstacles placed around us, but as a whole, Allah has been showering us constantly with riches and blessings.. when we complain, out loud or in our mind, we have forgotten the blessings He's given us.

teething = separation anxiety?

Hayaa's been teething on and off since she was 6 months old, going on 7 (now she's almost 10 months masha'Allah). It's resulted in many many sleepless nights, and drool filled shirts. We've all sort of noticed a pattern with what tends to happen when a new tooth is about to come..

1) the drooling gets really bad.. it remains throughout but it gets really bad initially. Her clothes get sooked at the top and i have to continuously change them. One day I was going through her drawers and found some undershirts.. so i started to put those on her so it would be less clothes changing for me.

2) the runny nose.. so the combination of drool and runny nose is just gross.. especially when it goes in their mouth. yuk. But, yeah like i said, while the drooling continues, the runny nose occurs for 2 weeks or so.. and then it stops alhamdulillah. I always have to remind my MIL that it's not because of a cold that she's getting it, she'll be sprouting another one soon.

3) the sleepless/ disturbed night: alhamdulillah the real sleeplessness only happens at max 2 days in a row.. but you'll find the disturbed sleep will happen quite often :( Hubby and I always joke that Hayaa is dr. jakyll during the day and mr. hyde at night ;)

4) serious 'chipku-ness' as my husband calls it.. the separation anxiety

5) the tooth, finally!

so yesterday was one of those days.. i had school but my father in law told me after i returned that she was missing me a lot

Hubby offered to put Hayaa to sleep, but she started screaming when he turned off the light.. then my MIL tried (Hayaa's better with her then anyone else - me), but she would still not sleep.. she drank her whole bottle but refused to go to sleep. Then I took her from them and rocked her to sleep, and she slept.. almost within 10 minutes. she was soo tired.. but she did not want me to leave her. Whenever i would move my hand from under her head, she would cry (while her eyes were closed), hug me and go back to sleep. I did give her some teething meds before she went to sleep, so i wasn't sure what it was all about.. but khair.. after like +- half hour of sleeping in my arms, she went to sleep properly without me.

annywhoo.. on another note..umm.. i have to admit that i havne't been good with my diet :( it's tooo hard.. and there are too many temptations. i will try again.. but i'm so bad at it *ashamed*

ok.. gotta go and work on some school work.. which is what i was supposed to do in the first place, but i started blogging :p