Hayaa's "lovey"

So, as I've already written, for the past few days I've been trying to have Hayaa transition from her nursing to sleep mode to sleeping without milk mode. I figure, we'll get to the sleeping by herself thing later insha'Allah.. we'll get there, step by step.

Usually kids have a stuffed animal, blanket or pacifier they sleep with. It seems to provide them with comfort and help them through any transition. It's called a 'lovey' because kids love it so much and sometimes carry it around with them where ever they go. I've been trying to get Hayaa on one for days to ease her, while we take these steps towards a better sleeping Hayaa. Much to my disappointment, she adamantly refused to hold a blanket or a stuffed animal and even a pacifier.

This morning, she literally cried (or screamed) herself to sleep without me nursing her, making everyone in the house quite uneasy. So naturally I shuddered at the thought of putting her to sleep again. Well, she's asleep now alhamdulillah, hardly cried this time, didn't scream at all, and went to sleep in about 20 minutes (which is pretty good).

What did I do differently this time that I had not done the last? played Quran in the background! After 10 minutes of listening, I stopped it to look for something else and she started to cry. Crazy subhanAllah. I mean, I am happy that she's attached herself to the sound of the quran, but while a lovey can be carried around other places, i can't really carry around a qari. I can recite some surahs to her, but she seems to prefer a certain qari.. shaykh Mahir to be exact. Sometimes she likes Saad Al Ghamdi as well, but when I recite to her, as absurd as it sounds, it doesn't seem to produce the same effect.

My daughter and her very specific requests. sigh.

So, what should I do if I need to put her to sleep somewhere other then her room? Maybe I should be carrying an MP3 player around with me.

Sleeping Issues Reminisce

Hayaa's been sleeping for an hour masha'Allah. Her naps have extended to at least an hour for the past few days, and yesterday she slept 3 hours straight. I couldn't believe it, masha'Allah tabarakAllah.

I'm not sure how and why this sudden change has appeared, but it's quite new to me. Usually as soon as she's asleep, i'm waiting for her to wake up again. I remember those days of 15 minute naps. I would feel incredibly blessed if she slept for half an hour. SubhanAllah, we've come a long way.

Many of my girlies have recently had babies or will soon have them, and whenever I hear from them or see them, I think of my first few months with Hayaa. We had some interesting days. I do realize that much of it was because of the whole milk issue, I mean, I was drinking milk like crazy and unknown to me was that she was having a lot of trouble digesting it... but i guess some babies in general sleep little, cry a lot and nurse even more.

In my first few months, I hardly stepped out of doors, usually would be in my room. I'd sleep with Hayaa, stay in my PJs every chance I got (I didn't get that many chances, I do live with my in laws), complained when i wasn't wearing PJ's :p and felt like my whole world revolved around just feeding Hayaa and putting her to sleep, only for her to wake up 10 minutes later.

A lot has changed since then, alhamdulillah. I'm starting to feel like my old self again.. yes, about 7-8 months later.

I remember visiting a family friend of ours and her baby 2-3 months after Hayaa was born. Husband and I were so shocked when the couple were telling us how they hardly notice their baby, she sleeps like 12 hours during the day, and the common stuff at night. I remember thinking how unfair the whole thing is, authobillah. I shouldnt have, but sometimes these thoughts do occur in your mind. I think I even told husband that it's all his fault that Hayaa cries all the time, because he forbid me to give her a pacifier (some nurse told us that it's very bad at that time). I was totally wrong to do that. I feel ashamed to admit it, but Husband had to put up with a lot of my hissy fits in those days.

With the whole pacifier thing, qadarAllah, but he has admitted that it would have made our life a little more easier if we had used one and not listen to every nurse who gave us advice about how we handle our baby.

well, with every difficulty there is much more ease. alhumdulillah. I think it was after Hayaa was about 3 months that she started crying less, and now she even sleeps well and plays by herself. Things do improve. It helps to speak to other mothers. It helped me so much when i spoke to some of the other more experienced mothers..also, the prophet sallalahu alayhi wasallam said:

'Wondrous are the affairs of a believer. For him, there is good in all his affairs and this is only for the believer. When something pleasing happens to him, he is grateful, and that is good for him; and when something displeasing happens to him, he is patient, and that is good for him"

(Muslim)

Alhamdulillah Allah swt has guided me to realize that every child is different and every situation comes with it's own strengths and weaknesses and alhamdulillah, Allah swt has eased my affairs.

Habits

I recently started tracking Hayaa's feedings, sleeping and playing times and conditioning them so it would be a little easier for someone else to do it if i'm not around. I'm not sure if I should join school in September or do something that will keep me closer to Hayaa. Traveling to downtown a few days a week will be a huge thing for her to be away from me for that long.. she's not used to it.

So, alhamdulillah it's been working so far. The problem was that Hayaa doesn't sleep any other way except for me to nurse her and well, that would obviously mean that it's quite a challenge for anyone to put her to sleep except for me. Now, i've been putting her to sleep just by patting her on her back and singing a little lullaby or putting quran on in the background.

Alhamduillah it has worked, and I felt so relieved that she's finally going to sleep without nursing, but she is quite dramatic when she's tired, she cries for at least 5 minutes and most often more, and then finally falls asleep. I've gotten used to the routine, but her daddy has a hard time sometimes and i know her grandparents will too.

I kind of gave up on scheduling and conditioning after my repeated failures when she was a few months old.. but perhaps i was doing it at a time of a growth spurt, or she was sick or maybe it was just too early for her. Whatever it was, it went pretty bad and I didn't want to do it any more so I gave it up all together. I was just nursing her whenever i felt she was hungry, but i realized that it wasn't the way to go... she was totally running the show and I felt out of control.

I think a good time to start good habits is when the baby reaches 6 months.. but mothers shouldn't give up, sometimes it takes some time, some patience and insha'Allah things will go your way and it makes like so much easier.