Diet and Exercize anyone?

Alhamdulillah it's been nine months, and a half since I had Hayaa.. and alhamduillah after ramadan, I knew that it was the best time to start exercizing. I had been doing casual workouts, like 10 minute treadmill etc, since my 6th month, but I really wanted to get into it now and get results.

It's been like 2 months i think and I've lost at least 6-7 pounds alhamdulillah. I know I should be losing more, because the workout i'm doing is quite intense.. and I know the reason i'm not losing so much is because of my diet.

Living with my in laws, it's quite hard to watch what I eat.. and during pregnancy and after my delivery, I was not only was encouraged to eat more of the desi greasy foods but also indulged in much chocolate and cake eating.

During Ramadan I lost a bit of weight not even exersizing, but just not eating so much food and now, although i'm not seeing a wieght gain, i'm not losing so much as I want to.. so i think it's time I put away my chocolate bars, large portion sizes, gulab jamuns and rasmalai's and get into actively watching what i eat.

Insha'Allah I want my weight to go down ten pounds in a month.. and I know i can do it, with more water in take, smaller portions and exercize.

For anyone wondering what exercize i'm doing, it's the 30 day shred by Jullian Micheals. It's good! All you need is the workout video, exercize mat and 1 pound weights.. It's made a world of a difference in not only my energy level, alhamdulillah, but also, I feel awesome! it's not an easy workout but you feel great afterwards. It's supposed to be for 30 days continously but I couldn't do it every day. I workout 3 days a week and it totally drains me out, in a good way :p

There are 3 levels, and if you workout every day, you should be moving on to a new level every 10 days. I've been working out two month and now i'm on level two, because I want my body to slowly adapt to it. Like i said, I've been in horrible shape since.. well.. since I got married 2 1/2 years ago! But it really does feel great to do somehting about it. Slowly but surely insha'Allah! :)

Sujuud and Preggy belly

After my seventh month, it was difficult for me to make sujuud while praying. I use to just go down as much as I can, and not go into the sijdah position, and then get up. My mother-in-law saw me pray this way once and suggested that I use a pillow to help me, and I thought it was a better suggestion, and I did that throughout the rest of my pregnancy. Well, today I came across a hadith that suggests that what I was doing was correct, and what my MIL suggested shouldn't have been done..though at the time, I thought it was logical enough.

Bulugh Al Maram, Hadith 352:

On Jabir (R), the prophet (S) visited someone who was sick, and he (S) saw this person picking up this pillow and bringing it to his head to make sajdah. The prophet (S) threw it aside and said, "pray upon the earth if you can. And if you cannot, then make an indication with your body, and make an indication of your sajdah lower than the indication of your rukoo."

SubhanAllah, it's amazing how we keep learning new things in our deen. It's so cool. May Allah swt continue to increase us in our knowledge, understanding and application for His sake alone. Ameen.

Self Esteem vs. Arrogance

During pregnancy and motherhood, our lives shift so much, sometimes we forget ourselves in the process, if only for a little while.

After becoming pregnant, for the first time I felt uncomfortable with myself.. and the remnants remain, if not increase, once the baby is in the picture and people question your role as a mother.

This is a beautiful article/ reminder on the relationship between low self esteem and arrogance, and the importance of having confidence in yourself.

SELF – ESTEEM VERSUS ARROGANCE

By Mamoon Yusaf - http://www.quranforbusypeople.com/

“God does not love the arrogant and boasting ones” [Quran 31:18]

In western psychology ‘self-esteem’ refers

to the esteem you give to yourself. It is a measure of how much you like and value yourself. In other words, it is a measure of the extent to which you live by your own personal values. When you do not act in accordance to your values, you like yourself less, and your self-esteem goes down. When you ‘beat yourself up’ for not acting in accordance to your values, rather than learning from your mistakes and moving on (the Islamic approach to forgiveness), your self – esteem goes down even further and you continue to violate your values and sin.

Low self esteem results in not living according to your values, usually as a result of what you think other people will think of you. For example, not giving your honest opinion when it’s required, because you’re afraid of what others may think. Not having the courage to make a sales call due to fear of rejection rooted in valuing their opinion of you over your opinion of yourself. Wearing, or not wearing hijab, not because of what feels right inside, but because of what other people will think of you.

The truth is nobody knows you better than you do – not even your loved ones. Nobody cares about you more than you do, either. If you die, they’ll morn your loss, but you’ll live eternally with the consequences of your actions.

The hypnosis of Muslim culture encourages us to think that having a high opinion of yourself is a ‘bad thing’ because it could lead to arrogance. Nothing could be further from the truth. Having a low opinion of yourself leads to arrogance.

If your opinion of yourself is lower, your inner confidence is diminished and you always need to prove a point to others (and yourself) by unconsciously competing. This leads to you ‘looking down on people and denying people their rights’ – the Prophet’s definition of arrogance (pbuh).

If you have a high opinion of yourself in areas where you are good, and a low opinion in areas where you struggle, you are closer to the truth of your situation. This honesty and self-acceptance is the starting point of personal growth.

The problem in your personal development comes when you use patterns of language that put yourself down, and then actually convince yourself that this is a good thing because you are ‘being humble’. These negative language patterns like “I’m such a loser; I’m so lazy” etc, are not humility they are self-humiliation. They are lies, which become limiting beliefs, which ultimately prevent your success. And they are forbidden. This is why the Prophet (pbuh) said “A believer never humiliates himself”.

Muslim spiritual writings on arrogance as a root disease of the heart, always balance not being boastful and arrogant with not looking down on yourself either. We tend to overlook the second part. In reality, if you look down on yourself (have low self esteem), you lose your personal dignity (‘izza) which may result in you lashing out in a boastful manner when you get the chance.

To make matters worse, if your self esteem is low the chances are you could even be indulging in a sly form of shirk – valuing others opinions of you affects your behaviour drastically. The only real opinion we should care about is Allah’s opinion. If you let others dictate what you think about yourself, and therefore what you do, this may be a form of ‘riyah’.

This dua will help: Allahuma inna na’uthu bika min an nushrika bika shayan na’alamu wa nastaghfiruka li ma la na’alamu.

Allah, we seek refuge in you from associating partners with you knowingly, and seek your forgiveness from what we don’t know (doing it unknowingly).

The best of examples, our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said quite frankly “I am the best among you, and this is not arrogance’. It’s not arrogance because it’s a fact. He told us, because it’s important for us to know his status, and we can learn from his statement that when you have deep inner confidence and self esteem like He did, there is no arrogance.

What I would do the second time around...

When Hayaa was young, I couldn't imagine having another baby. Now, sometimes when I see her play, I feel like it it would be nice for her to have another sibling to play with.. maybe not now, but soon in the future insha'Allah. My pregnancy definitely wasn't the best experiance.. it wasn't all the health. I know that if I had wanted to, it could have been much better.

If i was pregnant again, I would...

Not be living in a house with my brother in law, and if possible, living close to my in laws but not with them:

wearing shalwar kameez in the summer while pregnant sucks, wearing abaya in the house, while pregnant and cooking sucks even more. If i can help it, with my husbands happiness and his family's, i'd opt for living not with my in laws. No doubt, there are loads and loads of blessings living with your inlaws, but during pregnancy, it tends to get tough. However, if there's nothing i can do about that, then I know Allah swt only put me in that situation because it's best for me... but at least, i don't want to be livign with another non mahrem and wearing abaya all the time, the next time around insha'Allah.

Investing in a few nice maternity clothes:

During my pregnancy, one of hte biggest issues I had was clothes! My shalwar kameezs were getting too tight and I had to wear my mother-in-laws clothes because i thought, why should i waste money and keep getting a new wardrobe. Sometimes, it's good to save, but sometimes for your own sake, it's better to get some clothes that will work all throughout. It would have been relatively easy working iwth my wardrobe had I worn just sweats and tops, but wearing paki clothes is soo uncomfortable.

Now, there are loads of styles in paki clothes that would look nice on pregnant women. If only I knew then! During the weekdays I would get off the hook by wearing my humongo abaya in the kitchen (bro in law issue), but by weekends, there would be family parties to attend, and every weekend I would feel uncomfortable about the way I looked. Insha'Allah I'll do some homework next time and get some proper clothes made.

Maternity friendly shalwar khameez options: (colours are gross, styles are cute)

Go out of doors more often: being home all day is not cool.. and I don't know why, after getting married, I just stayed home ALL day! never again insha'Allah.

NOT eat for two: anyone who told you that you had to eat for two while pregnant... was probably an auntie ;)

Get one or two maternity abayas: for some reason, abaya's are quite pricey at stores. I'd get them stitched instead if i can't find resonable ones at the stores.

Go swimming/ Join some sort of Swimming classes: swimming while pregnant is the safest and best exercize.. and it feels great :)

Do prenatal yoga: It helps keep the body lean, and gets your body in shape for the big day

Get a doula: I'm not sure if doula's help around the house and how much they help exactly, but if I was livign on my own with Hayaa, i'd definitely be open to any helping hand.

Cook and freeze the food: because cooking in the first few weeks of baby being home is quite tough.

Go for a walk every day, or at least every other day

Restrain some of my loaded sugar or oily cravings some of the time

finally, I would..

Be less mean to husband.