Hayaa..

A week and a half and you'll be 9 months insha'Allah.

Yesterday I was thinking about how active you are masha'Allah. You always did like to move around and I remembered how active you were even in my tummy. I still remember your kicks. As you grew bigger, your kicks became stronger, so much so that sometimes I use to wonder if the time had come for you to come out and finally meet your mommy and daddy.. :) but many times, they were false alarms. You were just having a little party inside.

I had my ultrasound three times, when nurses wanted to check your health.. especially because we were concerned about one of your kidneys being bigger then the other, and each time they would check you, you would be moving continuously. All three nurses you checked me each time commented on how much you move.

How you scared us when we found out about your kidney! How you scared your nanny! She stayed up the whole night making dua for your health. Alhamdulillah, by the time you came into this world, you were perfectly healthy. I still remember that day, coming in for a checkup when the midwife told me the implications of a bigger kidney: "the worst of it?" she said "she may be autistic.. but.. there is a chance that it may just be an infection." SubhanAllah. Walhamdulillah. It was neither. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala always keep you healthy, happy and on his path.

When you were a week late, I was so uncomfortable. It was Adeel chachu's wedding, I didn't have any clothes that fit. All your daddy's relatives came from pakistan and elsewhere. Your mommy felt so uncomfortable attending all the little parties, along side your other pretty chachi's and chachi's to be :) but alhamdulillah, your daddy kept reminding me that our gift will be coming soon.. and soon it'll all be worth it.

With many reminders from your daddy and your nanni, alhamdulillah the last days before you met me went smoothly :) Your nanni was there making me stronger, helping me to

Bye bye Maple Pecan Danish :(

OMG did you know a maple pecan danish from Tims has 410 calories?

I didn't either.

http://www.timhortons.com/ca/en/menu/nutrition-calculator.html

---

btw, i didn't end up using goat milk after all. Hayaa's doc said it's natural for her to get constipated at first. Her body will get used to it, but it's better to continue with Isomil then to goat milk. Maybe when she's older.

Goat milk vs. Soy milk

Hayaa has been very constipated lately. I think it has to do something with her drinking the soy supplement :( I got her Isomil because everything else was just not suiting her. She seemed to like it.. but for the past two days, she's been very constipated. Poor thing. I gave her some prunes today, and it seemed to do the trick, alhamdulillah.

Looking for another alternative for the past hour and a half, I came across this website speaking of Goat milk and the recipe for feeding infants and toddlers. I know some websites say that you shouldn't feed your baby goat milk, because it has a higher level of protien then cows milk and when you dilute it, it loses it's nutrients, but Dr. Sears seems to know what he's talking about :)

Also, nothing else is working for Hayaa except Silk soy milk and I think this recipe for Goat milk is certainly much better then that!

I was a little concerned about giving her soy milk anyway. There was a new study done that it causes early puberty in some people.. so I wasn't too comfortable with giving it to her, but I did.. with caution. During the day, I try to give her at least 3 meals during the day, and give her little snacks in between. I nurse her in the morning and at night before putting her to sleep. She just needs a little milk sometimes before she naps during the day, so i thought soy milk would be ok for that.. but now, because it's causing her constipation, i think goat milk will be a better option.

I don't think it's wise for me to stop nursing her completely just yet. It is still the best milk option for her right now, and insha'Allah I can nurse her less and less as she's coming closer to turning 1.

Today I'm gonna go and get some goat milk. I'll update on how it turns out :)

Naps and Things

I had such a hard time putting Hayaa down for a nap today. Alhamdulillah she finally went to sleep and has been for an hour and a half. I put her in the crib today, and i feel so free :) like i could jump on the bed and she wouldn't wake up. lol ..maybe she will wake up, who knows. I even took a shower while she slept. When she naps on our bed, i'm always scared that she'll fall so I make sure i'm not too far away. Alhamdulillah Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protected Hayaa from falling from our bed many times.. and even at night, i'm always uncomfortable that she's getting too close to the edge.

I moved the crib infront of our bed today, because she hated going into the crib and I was kind of lazy to go all the way to it for her night feedings. I don't know how people do it with the baby in the other room! Now, she's right close to us so it wouldn't be a problem.

So i haaave to document the way she fell asleep today. She skipped her morning nap, was absolutely tired but didn't want to go down for her afternoon one. So, i took her and rocked her back and forth but she was just crying so i gave her the bottle, once the bottle finished, she started to scream at the top of her lungs and kept screaming.. i gave her tylenol, cuz i thought maybe she's not feeling well, but she kept screaming, eyes closed and everything. Then I don't know what happened, i couldnt' take it anymore and I yelled "ABDUL BASIT, COME HERE RIGHT NOW!"

LOL.. no AB wasnt' even home, he's at work. Then Hayaa stopped yelling, peered at me with her half closed eyes, closed her eyes and went to sleep. Alhamdulillah!

I think I almost lost my mind. Almost.

I don't know what it was. It's not like she got scared of me when I yelled, it just kind of got her out of her screaming mode. I remember when i was practicing for my G2 test, one time I think I was driving too low and the instructor said 'stop.. stop..' and i kept going and then he said 'STOP!' and i stopped suddenly and i was a little hurt at why he yelled at me and he told me that we're told to raise our voice everytime we say 'Stop' because it takes the student driver out of the nervous state.. so perhaps it was that. Allahu 'alam it seemed to work :p

Back-2-School Lessons

I started school last week, alhamdulillah. I'll only be gone 2 days, but whenever i would think about in the months leading up to it, i used to get so scared. 2 whoole days! for 5-10 hours at a time away from Hayaa.. that would have sounded impossible for me to do just 3 months ago.. but alhamdulillah it's hasn't been too bad.

Firstly, using a swing to put Hayaa to sleep helps soooooo much! I felt like kicking myself at the back when I think of all the times I had struggled.. rather how others struggled to put Hayaa to sleep if I happen to be out when she became sleepy. The first day of school, ammi and abu put the swing together and put her in it when i was about to leave. Alhamdulillah she loved it and she's been fine since. For some reason though, she does not sit on the swing if i put her in it.. funny kid, she still hates when it's time to sleep and gets really agitated when I put her near the swing because she knows I'm putting her in there and trying to put her to sleep. she just wants her dudu straight up.

She's 8 months now, and I think this is the perfect time for mothers to return to work or school, for babies to be away from their mommies for some time. Before this time, I think it's too early and after it, it would have been difficult for Hayaa to get use to. I remember when my mom started to work when my little brother was 1 year old. He cried so much! I heard from two other people that at 8 months, when you leave the baby home, she might cry when you're leaving but eventually the other caregiver can distract her.

Also, I had been nursing her until 6 months and only late in the 7th month did I start giving her the bottle.. so that would be another thing I would have to workout if I had gone to school earlier. Last week was actually the first time Hayaa drank from the bottle since.. a long time! she would not let me give her the bottle before this time.

I did learn that I even though I did not use to understand where my mom and MIL would be coming from when they'd tell me to sometimes "let her be" and be so "attached" to her, it doesn't mean they're wrong.. like they'd tell me to give her an ounce of supplement milk and be a little independent.. I was like oook it's been a while since they were mothers, BUT, they're not so wrong after all and I realize that now.

I mean, I definitely would not just 'let her be' if she's crying and screaming for my attention, but sometimes a little separation is actually healthy. Well, I think so. hehe in my 8 months of experience. Honestly, I needed some time for myself. Especially in the beginning of ramadan when she'd insist to be in my arms when i'd be cooking. She just wanted to be in my arms ALL the time, and .. well, alhamdulillah leaving her home with my MIL for some time is, i believe, healthy for not only me but also her.

So yeah, alhamdulillah things are nice :) I do definitely miss Hayaa during my school days, but i'm totally enjoying the 'me' time that i'm finally getting.. and ammi says that she's just fine at home, so that makes me happy, because she's learning to play by herself and stay with others and not just her mommy.

Let it ALL out!

I've always been a fan of journaling, diaries and logs. It started when I was in middle school, any time I had a secret that was bursting to come out, I would write it in my little blue book and keep the book hidden in one of my dresser drawers. The family knew about it. Many times when things would happen at home, I'd run to my room, grab my book and write, write and write.

After I got married, I missed my little book a lot and even though I tried to keep a book to write my thoughts, I either didn't have time or was afraid to write everything down in case someone came across it and read it.

Recently I came across an online free diary/ journal called Penzu. It's pretty cool, private, safe and I can access it whenever I wish on my laptop, and i'm sure there are other sites like this too. It's nice to write things down again, it helps let out any harsh feelings and words I may feel, look back at my writings and look at the situation more perspectively. It's much better to do this then to discuss your "problems" with others and end up backbiting.

So I just wanted to share this with the new mothers or even newly weds. I know there are lots of times when you just feel like you can't take it anymore and want to explode on someone, it's usually your husband unfortunately, or perhaps another family member. Don't do it. It's not worth putting your relationship in jeopardy. Instead, write. It feels so much better and there's no guilt afterwards about being rude or backbiting.

...and no, i'm not getting paid to advertise the penzu site ;)

Hayaa's "lovey"

So, as I've already written, for the past few days I've been trying to have Hayaa transition from her nursing to sleep mode to sleeping without milk mode. I figure, we'll get to the sleeping by herself thing later insha'Allah.. we'll get there, step by step.

Usually kids have a stuffed animal, blanket or pacifier they sleep with. It seems to provide them with comfort and help them through any transition. It's called a 'lovey' because kids love it so much and sometimes carry it around with them where ever they go. I've been trying to get Hayaa on one for days to ease her, while we take these steps towards a better sleeping Hayaa. Much to my disappointment, she adamantly refused to hold a blanket or a stuffed animal and even a pacifier.

This morning, she literally cried (or screamed) herself to sleep without me nursing her, making everyone in the house quite uneasy. So naturally I shuddered at the thought of putting her to sleep again. Well, she's asleep now alhamdulillah, hardly cried this time, didn't scream at all, and went to sleep in about 20 minutes (which is pretty good).

What did I do differently this time that I had not done the last? played Quran in the background! After 10 minutes of listening, I stopped it to look for something else and she started to cry. Crazy subhanAllah. I mean, I am happy that she's attached herself to the sound of the quran, but while a lovey can be carried around other places, i can't really carry around a qari. I can recite some surahs to her, but she seems to prefer a certain qari.. shaykh Mahir to be exact. Sometimes she likes Saad Al Ghamdi as well, but when I recite to her, as absurd as it sounds, it doesn't seem to produce the same effect.

My daughter and her very specific requests. sigh.

So, what should I do if I need to put her to sleep somewhere other then her room? Maybe I should be carrying an MP3 player around with me.